Today as I walked a college campus with my eldest child, I realized that a new journey is starting for us as parents. Actually, truth be told, I think that the realization has been creeping in the cracks for a while now; I just chose to ignore it. I could not do that today as we sat discussing ACTs, tuition, dorms and majors. The realization was like a heavy wool blanket drapped over my shoulders and I felt the weight of it in a way that was new and it was impossible to shrug off.
I have known all along that these children were gifts to Randy and I. They are not ours to keep but rather, ours on loan, to raise the best we know how. We had the years to help them grow strong roots but those years are long gone. The years of helping them find their wings is upon us. Letting go little by little. Drivers' Liscences, jobs, letting them make important life decisions for themselves. The wings are developing as their independance grows. At first it's exciting but as the time nears for our eldest to try out her wings I am not sure that I would say I am excited. Anyone who knows me, knows that all my life all I ever wanted was to be a mom. Sometimes, I have been known to be "overbearing" and I have "Played mom" to more than just my biological children on more than one occasion. It is my life. My career of choice. My heart. My passion.
People always say how fast the time goes and as a young mother I didn't really believe it. Some of my days seemed endless. But I will admit now....these eighteen years have indeed flown by. (lyrics from a Carrie Underwood song)
Brittany really liked the college we went to today and I could see the sparkle in her eyes as she saw the labs and lecture rooms. For her the whole world waits with open arms. Just the way it was meant to be.
For me, it will be a journey of learning to let go. (I say learning because I am sure I do not own the abillity naturally). That journey officially began today. May I do it with grace.
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5 comments:
Never before have I seen such passion for motherhood. You do what God has anointed you to do, and you do it with your entire being. You more than inspire the rest of us, you motivate us to be all that God has created us to be. May God continue to impart His grace upon you, especially in those moments when you'll need it most. You are amazing, Sue and I don't say that lightly!
Sue - I know how you feel. I look at Warrick and am amazed that he is College age and College bound. He has a car, independence, has travelled all over the world, but he is still 'my little boy'!
Britt has definitely grown up! All your kids have! Doesn't seem like it was that long ago that I just met her when she was in 9th grade. That description of the college visit reminds me of my first college visit a long time ago. You definitely feel like you're growing up! God bless you!
-Brooke S.
You can def "play mom" with me any day Sue and really you do a great job lol so yeah college seems like it will get here way too fast for me too lol. Check out my new blogspot post theres some nice news on it. I love you tho and I hope you dont take it too hard that shes growing up.
OH wow- I remember her first day of Kindergarten in Mrs. Anderson's class. Those cute little braids. I've learned much from you friend.
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